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Everyone seems desperate to figure their lives out, but honestly, where do they go from there?
Would you really ever want to have it “all figured out”? As I get into my late 20s I hear the phrase everywhere. It’s become one of those measuring sticks people use to size up their friends. Who’s taking the plunge into “settled” adulthood, who’s getting married, who’s buying a house, who’s having a baby? It’s pretty powerful shorthand, and it’s also abstract enough that any time I’m feeling a bit of doubt about pretty much anything, the voice in my head starts chattering about how I’m 28 and haven’t figured it out yet.
That’s when I catch myself though, because…doesn’t it sound awfully boring? Curiosity is what gets me out of bed in the morning, and the idea that I’d reach a point in life where I was no longer searching for something - answers, self-knowledge, new opportunity - honestly sounds very dull. Now I’m not saying I want to be Peter Pan - far from it. My twenties have been a really fulfilling journey of maturation and I’m doing things now (like starting this website) that I never could have imagined doing a few short years ago.
The funny thing is there were times in the past when I really thought I had it all figured out. Most of the time that just meant I was in for a rude awakening. As I began to build up my modeling career here in New York, I had settled into a very comfortable lifestyle, and I remember a certain sense that I had reached the end goal - that this was all there was to it. Well that didn’t last long. I got more and more disillusioned with the industry that gave me my living, I got more and more angry at the way myself and other women were made to feel inadequate, and I realized, more and more clearly, that I had to try and do something about it in my own small way.
Now the idea that I would ever stop this learning process, that I’d reach a point where all the answers had been arrived at and the only thing left was to live them out? It terrifies me. Never confuse maturation with stagnation. You may get to a point where things become more settled in your life, or where you chose to go down one path and block off others, but you should never allow yourself to say “Right, that’s that all figured out then.” Because that’s when you start to miss out on incredible lessons that can be learned from the world around you. Never stop figuring :)